Never Turn Back
by Veralena
Summary: How do you find the strength to back away from the king of seduction? oneshot


**A/N:** well here's another one of my useless one-shots, although this one isn't as useless. its got more into it and, as you may notice, its much longer than my usual one-shots. its completely derived from a personal experience. although it's not as extragavant, the lines are exactly the way i remember them. i just had to stick in the characters into place. speaking of characters, their a rather unlikely couple, but i think they look absolutely adorable together. anyways hope you enjoy!

**Summary:** A crush, a love, and a betrayal mingled with rejection.

* * *

**Turn Back**

"Hey beautiful."

"What did you say?"

She looked up at him. Oh god…his to-die-for smirk was playing at his lips, and his hair was casually flopping on his forehead.

"Well, you are beautiful…"he started, not at all embarrassed.

"Oh, well," she said, blushing furiously, "thanks…"

"Here, let me carry your books…"he said, picking up her heavy bag.

"Oh no…that's OK! I'll manage!" she exclaimed.

He adjusted the straps of her bag on his shoulder. "No problem. It's light." She started walking and he followed suit.

"So, how come you aren't with Gloria?" she asked nervously.

His demeanour immediately changed. His playful smirk disappeared and his knuckles tightened in his pockets. He then looked over at her, and seeing her innocent eyes, his expression softened a little.

"To tell you the truth…I'm not very happy with Gloria at the moment."

Her insides flared up. What? What? What?

"Um…why? What happened?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"I can't tell you that."

"Oh come on!"

"No."

"Please?"

"Can we change the subject?"

She tutted, and heaved a mock sigh. "Oh fine."

They passed some girls in the hallway giggling. One of them grazed her shoulder against his, grinning suggestively.

"Don't you think Holly's pretty?" he suddenly said.

She was caught off guard. Where did that come from?

"Um…the one who just checked you out?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. He nodded. "How should I know?" she said, "I'm a _girl_. I don't look at these things."

"Well, she is," he said, not really paying attention to her.

She grimaced. "You like her or something?" Her heart beat rapidly.

"No."

"Then why do you think she's pretty if you've got a girlfriend?" she countered.

"Is it a crime to think someone's pretty?" he said, suddenly angry. "I called _you_ beautiful; you didn't seem to object to _that_."

"Well jeez, sorry. I didn't mean to offend!" she said, shocked that he had taken it so seriously. She glanced ungratefully at her bag on his shoulder.

"I'll take that back now," she said coldly, reaching for her bag.

"No wait!" he said. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so jumpy."

She rolled her eyes and kept walking on, although at a faster pace.

"Hold on," he said, grabbing her arm. She stopped abruptly, turning to face him. They were in a little nook in the corridor.

"Listen…you know the essay Flitwick told us to finish by Friday?" he started, waiting for her to nod, which she did. "Well, I've got Quidditch practice tonight and tomorrow night, and I really don't understand the concept of those non-verbal relocation charms, and I was wondering if maybe…"

She sighed in disbelief. "This is about me helping you with your essay isn't it?"

He grinned sheepishly. "Well, yes."

She watched his face for a bit, seeing it so close to her own since a long time. The last time she had seen his face this close she had been…well hyperventilating too much to notice. But today she was calm. And feeling rather used.

"How much help do you need? Are you at least done reading the chapter on the relocation charms in the textbook?" she asked, as he handed back her bag.

"Um…no," he said after a while.

She looked at his eyes, the chocolate brown seeping into her own hazel depths. His face was so close. His lips were right there. They looked exactly like they had the last time she had kissed him – the one and only time she had ever kissed him. Was he seducing her? No of course not, she thought. He was using her. But…that flawless face…

"Sorry, can't help you," she said briskly, trying beyond her might to not look at his disappointed and slightly shocked face. "I've got two other papers to hand in by tomorrow and an half a book to read for Arithmancy. Maybe next time!"

And she walked away, leaving him standing there.

"Hold on! Wait up!" he called out. Oh god, she thought, that deep voice…

"I'm going to be late for my next class!" she said, not turning back and smirking to herself.

"But…I need to tell you something!" he said desperately. She heard the special twinge in his voice, and deep down she felt a flutter in her stomach.

"What?" he said, facing him and resting a hand on her hip.

"I…I like you."

Her heart stopped. Had she heard right? This was unreal! His face showed no signs of embarrassment. Was that right?

"I…I don't understand. Where did that come from?" she asked, confused but feeling a hot blush growing on her cheeks.

"I've…I've liked you for a while now," he said, his eyes darting all over the place, to rest anywhere but on her face, "and…I like you a lot."

As he finished, he finally managed to look at her carefully. He stepped up to her and put a hand on her shoulder. She was definitely hyperventilating now. Oh god, and that smell of aftershave that emanated from him made her senses go wild. His heady scent wafted all the way up to her brain, which was sending warning signals throughout her entire body.

"So…will you help me complete the essay? I promise I'll make it up to you somehow," he said, his voice sounding genuinely sincere.

"Su…sure," she stuttered, not realising what she was agreeing to.

"Great!" he exclaimed, his face breaking into a wide smile. "I'll see you later then, Lily!"

"Ya…great!" she said, nodding her head, but he was already gone.

Had he just told her that he liked her? Was this really happening? And what would she do to help him with the essay? What would she wear? What should she act like? What would he be expecting from her?

A jumble of questions raced through her mind all through Potions, where the professor was quite unimpressed by her distant look. She barely heard the professor ask her to concentrate and she left the classroom in a daze, Severus Snape sniggering at her back as she left. But she didn't care. Because the guy who she'd crushed on since Second Year liked her!

But as she stepped outside to go to Herbology, she suddenly felt ill at ease. Something was wrong with the voices she was hearing somewhere in the distance. She walked over to the old willow that she usually studied under and turned around to scan the crowds of people milling all over the grounds. Suddenly her eyes fell on a group of girls chattering and laughing, surrounding…him.

"So she just agreed?" a girl asked, laughing loudly.

"Well, it is quite hard to disagree with me…"he said, tucking a tendril of her hair behind her ear. The girl giggled.

"Hey Holly!" said one of the girls to the girl in the middle of the group, "you guys should totally be a couple. You guys look so cute together!"

Holly grinned. He looked over at her and put his arm around her shoulder, then grinning, he announced, "Well, then, consider it from today that me and Holly are going out!"

All the girls cheered and he swivelled Holly around to give her a kiss. Lily couldn't bear it anymore, she turned away and slipped down the bark of the willow tree, letting her books scatter everywhere.

But before the tears could come, she stopped herself. No, she told herself, this isn't how you're going to treat yourself. Screw him. Just don't show up tonight. Don't talk to him. Freeze him out. Don't cry. There'll be other boys.

"That's right," she told herself, "boys come and go."

She turned around to see him still laughing with the other girls, his arm still around Holly.

"Sirius is a player, and he always will be."

And, picking up her books, she left to Herbology class.

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A/N: unlikely pairing, eh? but...i always thought sirius and lily went so much better than lily and james. don't know why. anyways hope you liked it!

**starlite rose**


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